3 Parents Talk Bed Sharing

This week we chatted with three new-ish moms on bed sharing—do you? Would you? Until when? GAH! So many questions!

Three Parents Talk is our brand spankin’ new series where we talk to (you guessed it!) a trio of moms and dads with diverse parenting styles about some of the significant and often hilarious issues we face on this wild and crazy ride called parenthood.

Bed sharing is one of those should-I-or-should-I-not dilemmas that start swirling around in your head before the baby is even here. Will I squish my kid? Will they sleep with us till they’re 8? Will I secretly want them to? As my kid gets older I start to realize there is no right or wrong when it comes to heavily debated issues like this. It’s whatever works for your particular family dynamic! Like if your 8 year old is still in your bed, but everyone is healthy and happy, who really cares, right?

“My daughter, husband, cat and I sleep together every night. I stopped feeling guilty about it—there’s no denying that we are “bed-sharers” anymore. That being said, as she gets closer to a year, I realize it’s going to have to end. I don’t want to become that person who has a 6-year-old still in their bed (I am related to two of them). But for now, I’m savoring moments holding her hand while she sleeps.”

—Megan, mom of 1

 

“We wanted a consistent sleep schedule and found that sharing a bed made it hard to maintain it especially as I went back to work. My husband, baby and I sleep best when my son is in his pack and play and hopefully soon he’ll be in his own room.”

—Rachael, mom of 2

 

“I was never organized enough to find or follow any kind of parental doctrine like attachment parenting, but I was so f*cking exhausted while I was nursing that co-sleeping was a natural progression for me and my husband. I was insanely anxious and conscientious about every other guideline like no blankets and putting the baby to sleep on his back, but bed-sharing felt right for us from the beginning.”

—Laura Elizabeth, mom of 1

 

Amy Schumer Puts on Socks While Pregnant

Sooooooo real though.

 

Because there are lots of things to look at on the Internet (and lots of things you’d rather be doing) we’ll scour the WWW—bringing you the most smile-inducing, share-worthy thing we find each week so you have something OF IMPORTANCE to discuss and your next dinner party.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bvhc1nzF0Ip/

This week: Amy Schumer Demonstrates How to Put on Socks While Pregnant

Where: @amyschumer

What: If you have ever been pregnant or currently are, then you know that as you near the end of this sometimes-magical-sometimes-literally-sickening journey, putting on socks (or god forbid shoes) is akin to climbing Mount Everest, BASE jumping or eating sushi from Duane Reade—you know there are people who have done it, but most likely you won’t be one of them.

That’s why we can’t stop lol-ing at Amy’s realness during the 38-second video (that’s been viewed 4 million + times nbd). “First you put your toe in, and then you try it from behind. You hook your toe and then you just kind of slowly will the sock up your foot.” Sounds about right.

3 Parents Talk Video Games

This week we chatted with 2 dads and a mom about video games. Do you let your kids play? If so, what kind is acceptable and at what age? Can they play alone or only as a family? This is a hot topic, people!

Three Parents Talk is our brand spankin’ new series where we talk to (you guessed it!) a trio of moms and dads with diverse parenting styles about some of the significant and often hilarious issues we face on this wild and crazy ride called parenthood. 

I grew up using my imagination—exploring the woods behind my house, building things and reading way more than playing video games. In fact, if I try to play now as an adult I just find them frustrating and incredibly boring. I mean don’t get me wrong, I can binge watch a Netflix series like nobody’s business, but video games have zero appeal to me and honestly, I hope my son isn’t interested either.

“I’m fine with educational, brain-building games as long as my son doesn’t spend hours playing them. I think 20 minutes here and there to learn is okay. Plus, it’s a lifesaver while travelling! What I’m not okay with though are violent video games. Shooting, killing, all that stuff. No way. I will fight tooth and nail when my son is older to keep him away from games like that, I don’t care if his friends think that’s ‘lame’”.

—Peter, dad of 1

 

“My 7-year-old is very affected by video games so we try to limit his exposure. My 15-year-old on the other hand is a history buff and very into WWII games. He’s busy though, with track and clarinet, plus we only have one TV in our small NYC apartment so I’m not concerned because there’s really very little actual time to play.”

—Josh, dad of 2

 

“I am pretty much 100% against kids playing video games until they’re maybe 10— at the very earliest. But even then, I’ll try to restrict it completely bc that sh*t is addicting! I would be okay with getting a Nintendo switch that we hook up to our TV and play as a family, maybe when the kids are 4 and 6. But, right now I’m anti video games on any devices and want to carefully regulate any video games they play as they get older.”

—Lauren, mom of 2

 

Yael Braun, Co-Founder Of Fuck Cancer and Motherlucker, On Raising Empathetic Kids And Finding “Me-Time”

Yael Braun best describes her world as hectic. Amidst filming a new round for her Motherlucker x Facebook series, advising startups, and running Fuck Cancer, she dishes on raising girls with confidence and boys with empathy, finding “me-time” (be it at the Grammys or the gas station), plus why there’s no shame in asking for help. @yael @letsfcancer @motherlucker_  

What is it like having three kids of all different ages and stages?

The house is so much fuller in the best possible way, especially with three kids now—Jagger is 4, Levi is 2, and Hart is brand new! As they’re getting older, I’m noticing them becoming more independent and relying on each other for entertainment as well as companionship. Out of my three, Hart is an angel, which may have something to do with the fact that I’m less anxious and I don’t hover over her at all times. Whereas with Jagger, my first, every time he made a peep I picked him up!

How will you raise a girl now after having two boys in today’s climate?

As she grows up we may face controversial issues, but for now what I’ve found interesting, and different from boys, is often the first thing most people say to her is she’s “cute” or “beautiful.” While meant as a compliment, Scott and I are working hard to applaud her in other ways such as smart, kind, funny, or curious. We want her to grow up with the confidence that she’s more than just beautiful and doesn’t need to lean on her looks to get ahead in life

That said, what are your thoughts on raising boys?

We’re making a massive effort to raise empathetic boys. I believe empathy is at the core of many issues we’re dealing with in today’s society. Compassion is something we have to actively teach our children to move away from the mentality of “boys don’t cry.” In our home, we cry if our heart is sad or if our body hurts, but we don’t whine for attention or to get our way. We aim to give our children words to express themselves, deal with their issue, and move on. The other side of this is to lead by example. Simply put, treat everyone with respect and your kids will too.

How do you find a balance between your work life and home life?

Whether you’re a working mom or not, the key is to be present when you’re present (in all that you do). I used to try to answer emails at the dinner table, but ultimately it didn’t work. My kids felt like I wasn’t giving them attention which was confusing for them, and I couldn’t focus on work properly either. Think about when you’re out to dinner, and your partner is on their phone the entire time— it feels terrible. For kids to have that all the time, I can only imagine it’s giving them a complex. Therefore, I make a concerted effort to be with them when I’m with them and when I’m working I go into a separate physical space where they don’t expect my attention.

What is a ritual you have with your kids?

Every week we do Shabbat at home. The boys and I make Challah during the day, and after dinner, we say the prayers and light candles — they love it! Plus, we all cram into Hart’s bathroom and the boys help me bathe her; it’s chaotic and fun!

Morning Routine?

Crazy. Completely crazy! I’m up at 6 am before the boys get up at 7 am to make their lunches and breakfast, then I feed Hart while Jagger and Levi destroy shit/help each other get dressed. And, once I get everyone settled, I will work out between feeds—the story of my life these days is “between feeds.” I only recently started working out again after three months post-birth. I’m doing Rumble as it’s the perfect “new mom” workout because you can self-regulate. Plus it’s loud, social, and you hit stuff—sometimes that’s all you need!  

How do you prioritize self-care?

I was terrible at taking care of myself after Jagger, but I’ve gotten better about prioritizing self-care with each kid. Initially, I felt that my kids needed me every moment of every single day. The reality is, they don’t, and they’re better off having time without you as they learn different things from different people. One person can’t do it alone. Having this understanding has freed me to make more time for myself. Sometimes just getting to leave the house for Scott’s work events like the Grammys is exciting! Even grocery shopping or getting gas feels like “Me-Time” at this point.

What’s one life-hack you can share?

When I first became a mom, I thought it was my job to do everything. I had a very unrealistic expectation of myself and was miserable as a result. Therefore, my best advice is to take help when offered! The fact that we feel as though we should do this alone is crazy. No other society has ever done it this way, and there’s a reason for it. It’s fucking hard, and it’s fucking lonely. We’re all just trying to do our best for our kids, and sometimes we’re just stoked they’re not eating food off the floor! Take the help where you can and know that’s not failing but instead making you a better person/mom/partner/wife. It takes a tribe. Truly.